Whilst I Was Gone
by YaimLight
Summary: Part 1 in a set of 3. All from points throughout X-Men 2. What was really going through Logan's mind the night the mansion got broken in to and the real reason why he hates Bobby?


**A/N: ****I wrote this after seeing X-Men Origins. I sat down and watched all three X-Men films afterward and even though I know they stray quite a bit from the original comics…sorry graphic novels I couldn't help but feel that the films portrayed something odd going on between Rogue and Logan. So I decided that I would do my own interpretations of some of the scenes and how I think they really went down. This is my first PG bit of work on here so please be nice.**

**Like always none of the characters belong to me and even though in my ideal world Wolverine is a really person…well best we not go into that it upsets my other half.**

**Please do enjoy and feedback is always welcome, the bad and the good. I hope to have part two up soon but it will be rated M. I'm not to sure about part three as I have other work that I have to finish…well at least update, and I am sorry I haven't I seem to have lost my inspiration when it come to them.**

**All my best**

**Isabella Cross X**

**Whilst I Was Gone**

Logan shot up as the ghost of laboratories and a long forgotten voice danced around his sleep fogged mined. His skin slick with sweat as he breathed deeply trying to banish the images back to the darkened pit from where they had come. Closing his eyes and shaking his head as if he was shaking the images away Logan rolled out of his bead.

He knew this had to stop. They had become les painful since the incident with Rogue but still images of his past tormented him and no matter what he did they just wouldn't disappear, all except for when he was with _her_.

Deciding that he would rather go for a walk than try and go back to sleep Logan pushed him self off the bed and made his way to the door. His off white wife beater clung to his body and his jeans had ridden up uncomfortably. Grunting Logan' s hand slipped to the front of his jeans, readjusting himself as he pulled his jeans down, so he could more freely without wincing.

Opening the solid wood door Logan looked to his right and then his left. What way to go? Left would lead him to the stairs, down to the kitchen and hopefully a chilled bottle of Canadian beer. But right would lead him to the student dorms. To Rogue.

She alone would understand what he was feeling. What it was to be tormented with his dreams. The Professor had explained that since Liberty Island Rogue had some how held onto certain personality traits, (and had yet to explain exactly what ones those where), but quite unexpectedly she had continued to have severe nightmares exactly like his.

The rest of the X team seemed baffled by this but Logan knew. She had told him that day on the train that she could feel him inside her head. She had likened it to having a split personality, a voice whispering its opinions, thoughts, desires into her ear, desperately trying to influence her in certain ways.

It unnerved him at first that she knew things about him that no one else did. That she knew about all the women and the thinks he liked the most in bed. That she remembered things from his life that had happened when she was only a child, but he could live with that fact that she would know how to protect herself and that in some way he would always be there to keep his promise of protection.

But it wasn't just him in her mined with her. She had to share it with the psychopath that is Magneto. Always scheming, trying to get her to take a stand against the 'mutant problem' and there was that boy, what's his name that she had kissed.

Not only did she have to cope with her own desires but those of a hormonal teen, a psycho and the animal that was him. But she would understand. Before he really realized what he was dong he was out side her room. He stood one hand grasping the handle the other resting against the cool wood. His forehead pressed against the door as his eyes slipped closed, listening to the sounds from within.

The sound of three heartbeats thumped from behind the door, two slow and steady but one thumped loud and fast as if it was trying to brake free, and then came the muffled cries of pain.

Rogue.

Like him she was dreaming of a place and a time where pain seemed to manifest, consuming all there was. He knew that he could burst in there now, no questions asked and wrap her in his arms, comfort her, and protect her. No one would second guess him if he took her back to his room. He would tell them that it was so the girls would be able to get some sleep.

Rogue wouldn't mind, she would sink deeper into his warm embrace and once back in his room she wouldn't protest as he laid her on the bed and sank down to join her. She wouldn't cry out as he pulled her closer, hell she would welcome his lips on hers.

Logan's eyes shot open as he flung himself back away from the door as if it had burned him. What the hell was that? That was Marie he was thinking about. She was only a kid. What kind of sick, desperate, monster was he that he would consider her that way?

He was her friend. A big brother figure that would knock the crap out of any one who did her wrong, including the ice prick if he even thought about doing something untoward to _his _Marie. NO! She wasn't his, she was just a kid. Hell it wasn't even possible. She would fry him within seconds.

Disgusted with him self he turned and headed back the way he had came, his shoes making a soft thud as they hit the carpeted floor. God he needed a drink and a smoke. Any other night he might have sort out Jean, flirted a bit, make her more interested then she already was but not tonight. She wasn't here to play with.

Sighing Logan softly padded down the stairs following the faint sounds of ever changing voices. The wooden floor creaking under his feat as he tried to chase the away the images of Marie that had seemed to have taken up permanent residents in her mind.

Intrigued by the rapidly changing TV, Logan stopped to lean against the rec-room, arms folded in front of him pulling his skin tight across mussels. An inquisitive look passed over his face as his eyes darted from the lone boy on the sofa to the flashing TV. It only took seconds for him to realize that every time the boy blinked the channel would change.

"Can't Sleep?"

The boy spoke as the TV hoped over three channels. Smiling slightly Logan turned his head toward the boy.

"How can you tell?"

"Because you're awake".

The boy shot back. Logan couldn't help but smiled slightly as he quirked and eyebrow at the obvious answer. It was a stupid question to ask but he had been glad of the conversation after so long on his own.

"Right. How about you?"

"I don't sleep."

The boy hadn't taken his eyes of the TV through out the entire exchange and Logan found him self becoming bored. Quirking his eyebrows he acknowledge the boys simple answer before pushing himself away from the wooden frame and heading on down the hall in the direction of the kitchen.

The sound of floor boards creaking above froze him where he stood. He found him self hoping that it was Rogue. That she was away and that he would have someone worth talking to. He had been looking forward to spending time with her ever since he had decided to make his way back and that awkward exchange of pleasantries when he had arrived had not been what he had hoped for. Sighing he moved on as the sound faded.

Walking past the kitchen door he noticed someone sitting at the counter. Taking a step back his head shot round. Bobby Drake's head shot up, spoon poised at his lips as he locked eyes with Logan. Deciding he should at least try and be nice to the boy if he meant so much to Rogue Logan made his way into the kitchen.

"Hey"

Bobby's quiet vice seemed to bounce of the walls, his tiny frame shifting nervously on the stool.

"Doesn't anybody sleep around here?"

Logan's question came out half heartedly as he made his way to the shiny, metal fridge.

"Apparently not."

Logan shot a glance back over his shoulder as Bobby spoke. It wasn't welcoming yet not hostile, just indifferent. The kid wouldn't stand a chance against him. He knew as well as the ice prick probably did that the only reason Rogue was with him was because she couldn't have Logan.

Logan frown as the thought flashed through his mind. This was wrong. He wasn't in compaction with the kid for Rogue. He didn't want her like that. She was just a kid. Seventeen, innocent, fragile and off limits. He would snap her in half if so much as touched.

Sighing he grasped the refrigerator door, the cool metal tingling against his hot palm. Bending down he stuck his head inside slightly looking for something slightly more appealing to drink.

"Got any Beer?"

"This is a school"

Came the amused and slightly sarcastic reply from behind him. He knew that the kid would be smirking. God he hated him already. That smug, stuck up, mumma's boy. Probably what one eye was like when he was kid. Deciding to at least confirm his disappointment, Logan straitened up and turned his head slightly to look at the kid.

"So that's a no?"

"Yeah, that's a no"

The same amused, sarcastic tone smothered his reply causing Logan's grip to tighten on the refrigerators handles. What did she see in him? Turning back to the open fridge Logan quickly scanned the self for another available drink. Disappointed by what he found he knew he would have to speak to the kid again.

"Is there anything other that chocolate milk?"

"There should be some soda in the small cupboard"

Bobby vaguely waved his spoon in the right direction, his eyes shifting up to Logan's quickly before shooting back down again. Slightly annoyed Logan shut the doors and tuned making his way to the small cupboard on the other side of the room.

If he planed on staying any longer he would have to get some good Canadian beer in. Of course he would have to stash it in his room so none of the kids got there hands on it. Well none of the kids he didn't like. If Rogue asked he had a feeling that he would just hand them over, no questions asked, to wrapped up in wondering what she would be like drunk to really care what she wanted it for.

Bobby's head shot up again to follow Logan as he opened the cupboard and pulled out one of the bottles of soda. Twisting the cap of Logan looked around slightly as made his way over to the work top where ice 'man' sat, throwing the cap onto the counter as he went, Bobby watching him the whole tome.

Just as he was razing the bottle to his lips Logan pulled it back looking at it that at Bobby. He might as well make use of him whilst he was there. He handed the bottle over to a slightly pleased looking Bobby who proceeded to blow on the bottle opening, sending a cold gust of air over it, ice crystals following in its path, cooling the drink considerably.

"Thanks"

Logan mumbled as he took the bottle back from him, the cold glass making his hand tingle once again.

"No problem"

Bobby shot back. It was clear that he was happy to have helped. Logan knew that in some way Bobby knew he was being apprised. Deciding that he might stick around for a bit Logan slid into the stool to the side of the work space. He couldn't help but feel better as the cool liquid slid down his throat.

Deciding that now was a good a time as any to learn more about the boy who had seemingly just popped into Rogue's life, Logan placed the bottle down on the counter and looked up at the kid.

"How long you been here?"

"A couple of years"

This surprised and confused Logan. Not many people would send there kids to a school that they knew would teach them how to use the powers. Hell half the kids at the school where runaways just like Rogue, but Bobby didn't strike him as the kind of kid to just up and leave.

"And your parents just sent you off to mutant school?"

He knew his voice showed his confusion and he knew as soon as the words left his mouth that he had been right the kid wasn't a run away but he didn't get the impression that his parents had sent him there, at least not knowingly.

"Actually, my parents think this is a prep school."

Logan to could smell the anger and disappointment rolling off of him in waves, but at what he didn't know. Probably at the fact that he hadn't had the balls to tell his own family about what he was. But in all truth Logan didn't blame him. The way things where at the moment, his family would most likely have shunned him any way. Ashamed and afraid of there own kid. No one wanted there kid to turn out t be a mutant, hell people lived in fear of there kids becoming one. Even some mutants dreaded having mutant kids, just because they didn't want them to go through what they had.

"I see."

Logan nodded his understanding as he adverted his eyes away from the sad look that had taken hold of the kid.

"Well, I suppose lots of prep schools have their own dorms, campuses…"

"…Jets"

Bobby cut of his ramblings and once again all Logan could do was raze his eyebrows and tilt his head in understanding. Taking a deep breath he decided to move on to something else. Unfortunately the first thing that popped into his mind was Rogue.

"So you and Rogue, Huh?"

Logan took a deep swig of his drink, desperately trying to hide his grimace. He really didn't want to know about this, but he needed to know these things…as her friend.

"Yeah"

Bobby answered, his eyes shooting down to look at his ice cream then back up, locking with his. This was going to be an awkward conversation for the both of them. Looking back down at his ice cream Bobby quirked and eyebrow as he continued.

"I mean, it's not what you think. I'd like it to be, but it's just…"

Bobby stopped mid way looking up in time to see the stern look on Logan's face as he raved an eyebrow in warning and a que for him to carry on. He could feel anger razing up in him at the idea of any one else touching his Marie.

She had been his since the day he had let her ride with him. The innocent, untouchable Rogue was his and he didn't wonna share. Not with no one, especially not the next Scott Summers. That thought alone stopped him dead. He was the next Scott Summers and Rogue would be the next Jean Grey. They where practically mine copes of them already. Good boy Bobby and the wiled rose that was Rogue. And was in the same place with her as he found him self with Jean. Unwilling to give up the good guy, who promised safety and stability for the unreliable, disappearing bad boy.

Bobby's eyes glazed over with a far away look as the shot down to look at the work surface, a sad look coming over his face.

"It's just that it's not easy when you wonna be closer to someone…"

His eyes shot from the counter to Logan then back again as she spoke and Logan couldn't help but cast his eyes down in shame as the boy spoke. Trying to hide from the sadness in his eyes. He could tell that Bobby really did care for Rogue. He could smell the sorrow and love wafting from him along with that clean fresh smell that came with ice and snow. The boy really did want to be with her.

"…But you can't"

A sadness seemed to take hold of Logan, which he didn't quite understand, until Bobby spoke those last words. You can't, seemed to ring in his ears like a mantra. He knew then why he was so sad. He couldn't have Jean and he couldn't have Rogue. They belonged to other people, the 'good' guys and just wasn't one of them. He didn't get to have that perfect life with white picket fences and the two point five children.

Bobby blinked a couple of times the sad look on his face wavering slightly before he looked up a slight determination set into his brow.

"I've seen how you look at Dr Grey"

It was a statement and one that Bobby knew for sure was true. He knew Logan looked at her the same way he looked at Rogue. The look you get when there is something you want some much but you just can't have. A mixture of longing and disappointment. A never ending circle but at least he got to call Rogue his. She was his girlfriend. She wanted to be with him and even though he couldn't ever physically touch he was glad of what they did have and would take it over the situation Logan found him self in with the married Dr Grey.

Tipping his head to the side Logan shot the boy a confused and slight angry look

"Excuse me?"

He couldn't hide the annoyance in his voice at Bobby's inappropriate question. What was it to him the way he looked at Jean?

Registering the annoyance in his voice Bobby shrugged it of and went back to his ice cream mumbling a quiet nothing before shoving the spoon into his mouth. It took Logan a few seconds before he realized that Bobby thought the sad look was just for Jean.

Smiling sadly to himself Logan razed his bottle to his lips. Let the kid think that. Let him think that it was just Jean he couldn't have. He didn't need the sorrow of knowing that the one man, who could take Rogue away from him, wanted her as much as he did.

He would stay in the background. A trust worthy friend who would willingly die for her as he had proven twice in the last six months. He would be with her forever now, deep inside her mind. A place where Bobby would never be able to go and even thought it was a small victory it would stay with him forever. Even in seventy, eighty years when he would stand over her grave unchanged by time he would have the small comfort that he was with her until the very end, in a secret place where the two could be alone, be what ever they wanted to. Together at last…


End file.
